Can I go around the block by myself, mom?
Well, last year you couldn't because you were five and terrified of dogs, even tiny ones. Because you not only talked to strangers, but chased them down to say, hello, or ask why they were bald or old or just different in general from you, so small and curious. But yesterday, emboldened by unseasonably warm weather, you asked again. A friend invited you over, a friend who usually just calls for Elijah but, oh the joy, he included you as well in an invitation to act out scenes from Star Wars in his front yard, one street behind us. I could feel the desperation exuding from your eyes, your very skin. But would you break down in frustration if they, the older boys, played roughly or changed the rules mid-game? You're still a ball of energy and impulses. This year, nonetheless, it feels unnatural, unwise, to deny you a taste of independence. Because you, my middle child, my youngest son, will not be held back. By restraining you, I would lose you in the end. You are exactly, in this way, like your father was at your age- discontent to sit at home. I predict that you, too, will make your parents very proud, very proud and incredibly nervous. You will test my faith and remind me why a life shrouded in fear and apprehension is a life half-lived. You are my opposite. You are precisely what I needed.
Yes, Ben, you may go.
Please be careful.
Well, last year you couldn't because you were five and terrified of dogs, even tiny ones. Because you not only talked to strangers, but chased them down to say, hello, or ask why they were bald or old or just different in general from you, so small and curious. But yesterday, emboldened by unseasonably warm weather, you asked again. A friend invited you over, a friend who usually just calls for Elijah but, oh the joy, he included you as well in an invitation to act out scenes from Star Wars in his front yard, one street behind us. I could feel the desperation exuding from your eyes, your very skin. But would you break down in frustration if they, the older boys, played roughly or changed the rules mid-game? You're still a ball of energy and impulses. This year, nonetheless, it feels unnatural, unwise, to deny you a taste of independence. Because you, my middle child, my youngest son, will not be held back. By restraining you, I would lose you in the end. You are exactly, in this way, like your father was at your age- discontent to sit at home. I predict that you, too, will make your parents very proud, very proud and incredibly nervous. You will test my faith and remind me why a life shrouded in fear and apprehension is a life half-lived. You are my opposite. You are precisely what I needed.
Yes, Ben, you may go.
Please be careful.
2 comments:
I can relate to your feelings. It's always hard the first time you let a child go off by themselves. And there are plenty more "first times" we all have to deal with. They're not easy, but they're a necessary part of the child's life.
Whew! I'm glad my son isn't the only one who chases down strangers to say hello! :)
Check out the Orthodox Kid's pen pal program on my blog! We'd love to have your kids sign up!
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