This, obviously, is a picture of my husband, Troy. Mary is just now starting to draw actual objects, animals, and people instead of scribbles, and I'd forgotten how enthralling it can be to witness, as a parent, that developmental skill unfolding. So delicate are her pen strokes, so unpredictable. "That's never going to work," I think, as a head either much too large or too tiny
for a recognizable human form is swiftly sketched on to some paper unselfconsciously. But two beady eyes and stick legs later, I'm proven wrong. Of course it is a mamma or a daddy or a baby, an ethereal looking creature worthy of awe. Part of my incentive for keeping the children out of a system where peers dictate their tastes, hobbies and sense of worthwhileness, is a desire to foster within them a real comfortableness with their own unique talents and artistic preferences.
I loved to write as a kid - poems, songs and stories for the pure joy of it. But my friends, they preferred dancing, and lip-synching to Michael Jackson, Prince and Madonna. You can correctly assume, then, that I forsook my childish hobby, followed in their moon walking footsteps and replicated their less than flattering "valley girl" style. I lost myself for years and years in the trends and whims of popular culture, wasting energy on fitting in that could have better been spent on standing out, as a girl at peace with herself. And while I'm not so naive to believe that limiting their access to teen pop stars, the emerging cryptic language of phone texting, cliques, and the pressure to conform to the standards being established not by genuine beauty, quality literature, the saints, or inner spiritual convictions, but rather the banal and downright stifling impulses of profit driven marketing, will guarantee my kids a more calming and creative existence, I sure as heck believe it will up the odds a bit.
"What will become of them without the influence of classmates?" I am asked. "Won't they be out of the loop, socially? Too different?"
I certainly hope so.
24th anniversary
4 weeks ago
3 comments:
"What will become of them without the influence of classmates?" I am asked. "Won't they be out of the loop, socially? Too different?"
I certainly hope so.
AMEN to that, Molly! I get asked the same question quite often... well-meaning individuals worried that our children won't "fit in to the real(?)world." I like to remind them that the REAL world is the Kingdom of God, & that is where we desire these precious souls to fit in & be at home! God bless you & your beautiful family! ~ Patricia
Our oldest son is only three, but we are planning on homeschooling as well. I echo all of your sentiments. That's part of the reason why we happily live without a tv as well. Yet, it's strange, however, to reflect on my own childhood in public schools, surrounded by all of the tv and the media/consumer culture. I wonder if I would have grown to become different in some way from the woman I have become. And what will life look like through my children's eyes without all of those influences? I feel incredibly blessed to be able to make some different choices for my family!
It is so nice to hear from you, Stephanie and Patricia. I can not be encouraged enough when it comes to homeschooling :). I appreciate very much the shared experiences and camaraderie of other women facing similar challenges. I wonder, too, sometimes how I would have been different if I hadn't been exposed to certain elements of my adolescence. I feel what I lost was my confidence. I compared myself constantly to smarter, more talented classmates and deemed myself "average." I didn't push myself scholastically or creatively because I was all wrapped up in my intensive and often catty friendships. I was hard on myself in all the wrong areas - was I pretty or popular enough? I want for my kids a chance to blossom without being strangled by pressures I find completely unnecessary or even natural.
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