If I could go back in time, start completely from scratch, here is what I would have registered for for my baby shower:
1. A Room-Sized Bed:
I would want it to stretch from one wall to the next so that Elijah and his future siblings, with their bad dreams, growing pains, sniffly noses and frigid toes, could come and go as they pleased without Troy and I being forced to lie on our sides all smashed together, like sardines.
2. A Whirlpool Bathtub:
Because if you're going to spend that much time hiding...I, mean, relaxing in your bathroom, you might as well do it up with bubbles, jets, candles, the whole shebang.
3. A Fry Daddy:
Everything, my kids would be quick to assure you, tastes better battered and fried. My picky children would write thank you notes, tributes, odes to me daily if only every lunch and dinner crunched in a "good way," like McDonald's French-fries.
4. An Espresso Machine:
I hardly think this needs an explanation.
5. A fenced-in Acre of Land:
For my kids to run and run and run and run wild in without getting lost or struck by a motorized vehicle.
6. A Few More Hours In My Day:
Preferably...no, on second thought, most certainly while the children are sleeping, to catch up on correspondence - to keep in better touch with all of my old friends, new friends and family members.
7. A "Finder":
Some sort of robot or contraption (think "Rosie" from the Jetsons) that could locate in seconds missing keys, wallets, library books and Mary's teeny tiny ballet shoes.
8. A Self-Cleaning Mini-Van:
Because we could live off the pretzel crumbs that have spilled between the car seats and onto the floor of our Toyota Sienna for at least a week.
9. A Referree:
I mean I'd want the whole deal - the striped shirt, the whistle, everything. He could step quickly into an argument between the kids, make a call, and penalize the offending player, saving me from all sorts of migraines throughout the day. If he could also help with the laundry, that would be a huge plus.
10. A Do-Over Button:
For when I overreact and would like try again to speak calmly to my child, this time while keeping everything in perspective.
11. A Good Thai Food Restaurant:
Because our neighborhood doesn't have one.
12: Walkie Talkies That Actually Work For More Than 30 Minutes:
So I could keep in touch with Elijah as he ventures farther and farther away from me, and our house, in pursuit of some independence.
13: A Life Time Supply of Junior Mints
Did I forget anything?
Cookies
2 hours ago
13 comments:
1,6, and 10 definitely! Actually "American Dad" had an episode where Stan got a pill that allowed him to never sleep. It was awesome, he had a whole life for himself for 8 hours: he learned languages, played guitar, mastered video games, etc. And during the day he was able to enjoy and interact with his family better. As a person who CRAVES withdrawing as much as she does sleep....I found it quite a profound episode. too bad it was just a cartoon.
Ohh! I'm making my registry now; I'll take these under consideration!
Once again, you and I have the same life. That picture could absolutely have been my room, complete with plenty of extra people in my bed. And searching for teeny tiny ballet shoes has become a weekly family event, even though I set aside a particular dance bag and special place to keep it. Somehow those little shoes make their way onto little feet and into little corners of little messy rooms long before dance day rolls around. My favorite, though, was the "Do-over" button. I might wear out the batteries on that one. Thanks for your wonderful blog... it is a treat to have a peek into your life (and know I'm not the only one!)
Love the bed idea. I remember those days.
How about four small tracking devices that you could have implanted just under your kids' skin (a la "Alias"), complete with a GPS system that shows their exact location at all times? This would come in handy especially when they are teenagers. For you see, teenagers have a bad habit of telling you they are in one place and actually being in another.
I am completely looking forward to meeting your family one day!
Can I have a referee too? Please, please, please?!
And a life-time supply of Dr. Pepper and peanut M&M's - my favorite snack. :) Although Junior Mints are yummy too.
The room size bed is a definite must have! Our king size seems to get smaller every day!
I can't tell you how relieved I am to read about YOUR crowded beds, missing ballerina shoes, desire for sleep and love of Chocolate!! How comforting. :)
And now I am going to look seriously into Father James' brilliant suggestion regarding tracking devices being implanted in my kids. Creepy? A little, but so awesomely reassuring and hopefully less expensive (in the long run) than cell phones.
I've tried to convince Theo to get rid of the bedframe and just line our room with mattresses. Then we could use other bedrooms for things other than pretending to sleep all night there. John doesn't make it in to us very often anymore but he's there some early mornings. Hannah's there after 12 or 1 every night.
Do you think if we got enough mom's together that we could get a coop price on our backordered items?
I mean I have so much I want to say about the "Fry Daddy." And to any of you reading this comment, I want you to know that I have actually been present with Molly as she deliberated over purchasing this item or the hand blender (which won out) for smoothies and soups. Also, a self-cleaning van- Jared and I noted a peculiar order emanating from our van (Jared noted that now that things are beginning to thaw outside so are the things, like old peeled cheese, milk, etc. are likewise thawing in the van). And who wouldn't love some junior mints in addition to buttered popcorn and a good movie to watch together.
There is a good Thai food restaurant in the Quad Cities. I'm just sayin'.
Jared
Oh, the bed. Right now it's only three out of four joining us - that's good right?
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