Monday, July 14, 2008

...even children get older, and I'm getting older too (Can I handle the seasons of my life?)


I offered my hand to Elijah when we approached the crosswalk, but he didn't take it. It's just habit I suppose, my reaching out to help him maneuver the obvious dangers of distracted drivers and their speeding vehicles. I am pretty good at that - protecting the children from being flattened by oncoming traffic, but what has recently thrown me for a real heck of a loop has been my eldest son's desire for a bit of space to assert some independence and start making a few of his own judgment calls. After many years of taking continuous inventory of my young family ("O.K there's Elijah; Priscilla is walking with Mary; wait...where's Benjamin? Come back here, Ben, right now and stay where I can see you!"), I'm not quite sure how to quit the intensive surveillance of at least one my kid's who assures me that he is ready to go to his friends' house, the park, to the library alone. I'd just assumed we'd never actually make it to this part: the stage of brooding adolescence where the pitfalls are less tangible but somehow so much more frightening to this mother on a precipice staring down into breathtaking and unexplored canyons of parenthood. What else can I do but venture forward and learn as I go?

3 comments:

Maridee said...

I dread that day. A year or two ago, the thought had never even entered my head. When someone mentioned that there would come a day when I wouldn't know exactly where Julian was or who he was with, my immediate thought was well, that's never gonna happen! And when another friend mentioned that she needed to leave her 8-year-old alone to deal with her emotions, I was flabbergasted. The thought that my hugs and kisses would someday not be as comforting as they are today--and would even be unwelcome--was so foreign that she had to remind me of what it was like to not want to discuss everything with your parents. (Yes, I had that phase, but I never thought MY children would get there.) Even now their reaching that stage seems completely unrealistic to me. You'll have to let us know how you learn to cope.

sh. kelleylynn said...

Oh Molly...relating on this one. Colin (11 now) sometimes acts as if I am not actually right next to him - only when he is hungry and an occasional sideways squeeze. Letting go, to an extent, is awfully hard and lonely...
please let me know how you do it...
My husband has a much easier time letting our son run off to the ball park - alone, taking a bike ride - alone than I do -- so, in a sense, the father around helps me calm down - a bit.
BTW, this song reminds me of my mom & our relationship...hmm-- I think I have a blog post coming to me :)

Molly Sabourin said...

Oh Maridee, I saw the pictures of your sweet little boys and felt literally like my own son's were JUST that age. Staying home with my babies and toddlers was such a monumental growing experience and I cannot believe that I now have to re-adjust to another stage where it seems like I am starting all over again. I'll for sure let you know what works and doesn't work using my patented "Trial and Error" method.

Kelleylynn,

Please give me a heads up when you publish that pensive post of yours!